Busy

I used to think that I was busy. When both of my girls were babies, I could barely keep my head above water. When Brooklynne started Kindergarten, I felt like I was sinking. I got a few minutes to catch my breath when both girls started school, but that didn't last very long. And now, I have two very active and involved children and I feel as if I'm doing my best just to keep my head above water. My house is atrocious most of the time and sometimes we have to scour through baskets of  unfolded laundry in order to find something to wear for the day. Right now I feel as if I'm doing a mediocre job at best with all of my commitments. And, I wonder if my girls are stretched too thin. I know that I feel stretched too thin, although, if I could really be stretched thin, that would be great. At least it would take off the pressure of having to count calories (and failing to do so after lunch) and exercise every day.

I'm sure there is a lesson in all of this. I'm sure I need to slow down, let go of some of my commitments, just be me for a while. But, what if this is me? I've become the mom that I wanted growing up. Although, I think I'm a little more stressed out than I wanted my 'ideal mom' to be. It's important to me that my daughters know that I care about them and about what's happening in their lives. It's important that they have the kind of childhood that they look back on and think "man, I had it good." I'm raising well-rounded productive members of society and in order to do so, we need to be busy for a while.

Besides, these days are fleeting. I know this. Brooklynne heads off to the intermediate school next year where parental volunteering is limited to PTO and Snow Cone Fridays. In just a couple of years, the busy I have now will change completely as our family changes and grows. The things the girls are interested in will change and the amount of involvement they want from me will lessen. In other words, they'll grow up. And, though it will be tough for me to let go, I know that I can send them out with the knowledge that I'll always be here waiting for them. And that I'm never too busy for some quiet cuddles on the couch as we watch "Hell's Kitchen."

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