Bad Reviews

So, I received a 2.5 star (out of 5) review today that said:

Some things I Like:

I love the idea of having a typical morning routine and becoming bombarded by characters and stories! That is just awesome really. What writer wouldn't like that?

You have some strong word choice in here. Solitude, characters, adulations, broken... these are a few that stand out to me.

The flow is good. I didn't stumble at all while reading this one.

Observations & Suggestions:

The rhymes are not the strongest here. Up/cup, day/say, tribulations/adulations, day/say again. Now, I wonder which one is the strongest? *Laugh* Really, up/cup and day/say aren't awful. They just remind me of Dr. Seuss. I have a 6 year old who only recently eased up on his obsession with Seuss, so it is fresh in my mind. *Wink* The rhymes didn't really detract from the piece. They just didn't help it either.

There wasn't much of a hook here. "In the quiet of the morning / before the sun wakes up / I sit and drink my coffee / then have another cup" sounds like a commercial to me. Everything about it strikes me as common and a little on the cliche side. I probably would have stopped reading at this point had I not been judging the contest, which would have been a shame because the next part is clever.

I do love the characters joining you for your cup of coffee. *Wink* One note here... "And I work to tell their tale[s]". Their is plural, so "tale" needs to be plural as well.

I also like the sentiment of the final four lines. I think that most writers could relate to that. I know that I often have time to write in the morning, have too quit much too soon, and then am too tired later in the day or evening to keep writing. You summed that up pretty nicely. Again though, the phrasing doesn't seem super unique. "these quiet moments" "when the peace is broken"... they just don't have any wow factor. They are such common ideas that they fail to conjure emotions in me, and the end is really where I should feel something. If not, there isn't much to remember.

Overall, I think that the piece is cute, and it was a nice little read. I think that it could be much better. I would try to revise and make the characters present throughout somehow, as that is the unique part of the poem. That should be your hook. Rather than wishing you had more time to tell their tales at the end, what do THEY feel about having to wait? Keeping those bottled up characters in the reader's mind would serve you well I think. Still, it was a nice read, and I think that it was a good choice for a contest entry. Good luck with the contest, and I hope to see more entries from you in the future. *Smile*

 In response to this poem:

In the quiet of the morning -
Before the sun wakes up -
I sit and drink my coffee;
Then have another cup.
I bask in the solitude -
The peace of early day.
When all the world is sleeping,
My characters have their say.
They tell me all their stories -
Their trials and tribulations,
And I work to tell their tale
Without undue adulations.
I wish these quiet moments
Could last throughout the day,
For when the peace is broken
I still have much to say!


Why is it I can get tons of 4 or 5 star reviews and dismiss them without a second thought. But a review like this strike me at the core and validates every negative thought I've ever had. It's hard to come back from these, even though, I know it's not THAT bad. 

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