Creativity at Work

I read a post on Facebook where someone shared a recipe for diet pop cupcakes.  Apparently it's easy, just mix diet pop with cake mix and voila, supposedly delicious low calorie cupcakes.  Of course by doing so, said person opened herself up to the vultures that are the "this is my way to lose weight and it is the one true path" crowd.  I hate those people.  Seriously.  Yes, we know that diet pop contains aspartame.  Yes we know that aspartame causes cancer in lab rats.  Did you know that we're NOT lab rats?  Guess what, Cupcakes, something is going to kill us.  When we're obese, we're told that it's going to kill us.  (Insert big announcer voice here:) We're going to get Diabetes or High Blood Pressure or Corn Dog Syndrome!  No, I'm not sure what Corn Dog Syndrome is, but I'm sure we'll hear about it soon. But then, we take the steps to lose weight.  We make the changes.  And for some of us, those changes look different...

So, I did it.  In January, I followed millions of people by making the resolution that I was going to finally lose weight.  Okay, I actually did it at the end of January so that it wouldn't be a resolution and I would actually stick to it.  And actually, it didn't come about with the notion of losing a big amount of weight.  I'd tried that in the past and it never worked for long.  The following is my story of how my journey began and where I stand to date. I've struggled with my weight since puberty.  It's just been something that's been a part of me.  I've always been taller and fatter than most of the people around me.  And then I went to college and put on more weight.  I got married and added a few more pounds; had 2 kids and added more weight.  I was so busy taking care of everyone else so that I couldn't take care of myself.  I see now that my weight has always served 2 purposes for me.  It's been a way for me to self-...

Hello and welcome.  I realized just now that I have never made introductions on here.  I started this blog with no real intentions...perhaps a place to vent, but then I just jumped in and started venting.  I never introduced myself.  So, hi!  I'm going to start by telling you 10 things about me. 10. I live in Ohio and have my whole life. 9.  I have 2 daughters, a husband, 3 cats, 2 dogs and 3 goldfish. 8.  I am pagan and liberal and support equal rights for all Americans. 7.  I am a Stay at Home Mom. 6.  I've had my writing published. 5.  My husband and I got married in a Big Bear Grocery Store on Valentine's Day. 4.  I want to travel outside the US, though I haven't yet.  I've actually only been to 10 states.  3.  I love to make people laugh. 2.  I aspire to make actual money with my writing. 1.  I wish I was more...more organized, more creative, more.... Want to know more?  Stay tune...

As we are nearing the end of yet another school year, I'm facing the reality that next year, both of the mini heathens will be school children. For the past 7 years of my life, I have been a full time, around the clock, do it all Mom. The reality that in just a few short months, that roll will be diminished some and then diminished even more after that is coming more and more to light. It feels like I'm being phased out of my current position. For some reason, to me, this whole "mommy gig" seems like it ends once the kids reach school age. The problem is, I don't know if I want to go out and "find a job". I'm picky. I spent the last 7 years living my life for my kids, I just can't see changing the course now. They still need me. Maybe not as much, but they still need me. And, I need them. But, I need something for me too. So, I consulted the cards. I first asked what area would bring me the most satisfaction and prosperity. The cards response was...

So, what is a blog for anyway? Is this a place for me to write my deepest, darkest secrets? Is it a place to be 'discovered'? I've never been really good at keeping a journal. I mean, I write things down on scraps of paper that seem to get lost or thrown away. I'm not exactly sure what I want to put here. I gues that's part of the creative process, right. First, I gotta figure out what I want to do and then just let the mess come. I think that's part of my problem. I'm afraid of the mess. I can't let things get messy. (Although, to look at my house, you'd never know that about me.) I just think that one day when I'm organized, I'll be able to get the stuff done. One day the mess will be gone, right. Problem is, what if that one day is the day my life ends?

So, I titled this blog "Creativity at Work" only to find that my Creativity has been overtaken by the Perfectionsim monster. I start to type/write and then get stuck on finding the perfect word, the most insightful thing I can possibly say and when I can't find it...delete. So, how is it I let this fear of being perfect ruin any creative outlet I have? How can I change that even as now when I type this, I wonder if I'm even going to finish. I wonder if it's going to get posted. Do I want it posted? Maybe I'm not really a blogger. Maybe it's not the idea of perfectionism stopping me from posting this. Maybe it's the fear of putting myself out there for millions (ok, so I'm stretching a bit) of people to read. Maybe I would do better with paper. That is, if I could keep the kids out of it long enough for me to actually fill a writing journal.