More Ramblings
So, apparently my earlier post has opened a flood gate and I need to write more.
Yesterday, I took my daughters to see Michelle Obama speak. (Now, I promise this isn't a political post.) We were supposed to meet friends there, but it worked out that we had to sit in different places. Now, my girls were excellent in this very crowded venue and they did a phenomenal job. The issue, I've discovered, is that I am an introvert. I must have time to myself every day to recharge. And, in crowded situations, like a political rally, I tend to go within myself as a coping mechanism. I prefer smaller parties and have a hard time with crowds of people in my home, in my sanctuary. These are all things I realized last night as I pondered why it irritated me so that my girls kept asking me questions while waiting for the First Lady to arrive. I was irritated because they kept pulling me out of my safe space. I wanted to retreat, but they kept forcing interaction. Now, I don't blame the girls, they're kids, they had questions.
I think the Introvertedness (is that a real word?) is also the reason I have not been called on to teach in spite of my best efforts. On Friday, we had a Daisy girl scout meeting. There are 20 Daisies in my troop. Friday I also chaperoned the 3rd grade field trip to the Public Library. So, from 1pm until 5pm I was surrounded by lots of kids...lots and lots of kids. Friday evening, I was toast. I took my oldest daughter to her stretch class and zoned out for the entire hour. I had fun at both events, but afterward, my battery was empty. I needed time alone in order to recharge.
Another part of my personality is that I'm future thinking. I have such a tough time being in the now. I'm constantly thinking and planning for the future and how things are going to pan out. I believe that this is why I run. When I run, I can't think toward the finish line or toward the other end of my run or I become overwhelmed and give up. When I would post messages on my facebook page about not wanting to run, and people would tell me to give up, I think it's just because they didn't understand my thinking. I was doubting my run because I was thinking of the ending, of the number of miles, and I didn't think I could do them. I was already in the future. I should be done with my run, not just starting it. I have to stop myself several times during my runs and remind myself to just run for right now and not worry about running that loop or down that street, because if I don't then I'm frustrated that I'm not running the loop right then. I have to practice being in the now, which apparently is a very difficult thing for me to do.
I have a tough time doing menial tasks because of this as well. I think about washing the dishes and in my head I see the dishes being washed and put away before I've even stepped into the kitchen. And then, I get into the kitchen and am frustrated that the washing only occurred in my head and now I still have to go through all it again. It's like constand deja vu.
And now I'd like to leave you with a witty comment, but my brain has moved onto the errands that I must run today before the girls get home from school. So, you'll have to make up your own. I hope it's a good one. I like good witty comments. :)
Yesterday, I took my daughters to see Michelle Obama speak. (Now, I promise this isn't a political post.) We were supposed to meet friends there, but it worked out that we had to sit in different places. Now, my girls were excellent in this very crowded venue and they did a phenomenal job. The issue, I've discovered, is that I am an introvert. I must have time to myself every day to recharge. And, in crowded situations, like a political rally, I tend to go within myself as a coping mechanism. I prefer smaller parties and have a hard time with crowds of people in my home, in my sanctuary. These are all things I realized last night as I pondered why it irritated me so that my girls kept asking me questions while waiting for the First Lady to arrive. I was irritated because they kept pulling me out of my safe space. I wanted to retreat, but they kept forcing interaction. Now, I don't blame the girls, they're kids, they had questions.
I think the Introvertedness (is that a real word?) is also the reason I have not been called on to teach in spite of my best efforts. On Friday, we had a Daisy girl scout meeting. There are 20 Daisies in my troop. Friday I also chaperoned the 3rd grade field trip to the Public Library. So, from 1pm until 5pm I was surrounded by lots of kids...lots and lots of kids. Friday evening, I was toast. I took my oldest daughter to her stretch class and zoned out for the entire hour. I had fun at both events, but afterward, my battery was empty. I needed time alone in order to recharge.
Another part of my personality is that I'm future thinking. I have such a tough time being in the now. I'm constantly thinking and planning for the future and how things are going to pan out. I believe that this is why I run. When I run, I can't think toward the finish line or toward the other end of my run or I become overwhelmed and give up. When I would post messages on my facebook page about not wanting to run, and people would tell me to give up, I think it's just because they didn't understand my thinking. I was doubting my run because I was thinking of the ending, of the number of miles, and I didn't think I could do them. I was already in the future. I should be done with my run, not just starting it. I have to stop myself several times during my runs and remind myself to just run for right now and not worry about running that loop or down that street, because if I don't then I'm frustrated that I'm not running the loop right then. I have to practice being in the now, which apparently is a very difficult thing for me to do.
I have a tough time doing menial tasks because of this as well. I think about washing the dishes and in my head I see the dishes being washed and put away before I've even stepped into the kitchen. And then, I get into the kitchen and am frustrated that the washing only occurred in my head and now I still have to go through all it again. It's like constand deja vu.
And now I'd like to leave you with a witty comment, but my brain has moved onto the errands that I must run today before the girls get home from school. So, you'll have to make up your own. I hope it's a good one. I like good witty comments. :)
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